Tag Archive | grief

From comforted to comforter

Have you noticed that when you are walking through a trial or difficult circumstance in your life you long to talk to others who have gone through the same or a similar journey as yours. Regardless of the type of trial, we really want to hear from others that have gone down the same road before us and how they coped and worked through their circumstance.  I remember when we lost our son Daniel in a car accident at the age of 20, I avoided talking to people that had pat answers and armchair solutions to my grief. I wanted to talk with other parents that had lost a child. They knew my suffering firsthand. They had walked the same road I was walking and had come through.

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer a few months back I found the same need. I wanted to talk to other people who had received the same diagnosis, and had worked through the treatment and come out the other side. They understood our questions and our concerns. We have been blessed to have friends that have shared lots of great information with us and been extremely helpful in understanding the road ahead. Their words have been invaluable!

God understands our need for help and comfort at times like this. Regardless of the nature of our suffering, we have an inner need for comfort and sharing during difficult times. Throughout my life, He has always provided believers that I could turn to for help and comfort when I needed it the most. People who had come through similar trials and challenges.

You may wonder from time to time, why we have trials at all?  The Bible contains many of the  purposes of trials in our life. Some of these reasons can be found in Romans 5:2-5 NIVThrough whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

As long as we are on this side of Heaven we will have trials. One of the things I am grateful for is the opportunity to see and feel the comfort of Christ during these times. He comforts us during our time of need and then allows us to comfort others with that same comfort He offers us. He offers us comfort as One who himself suffered deeply and willingly for us!  His words of comfort are not easy platitudes but are words from One who knows the pain of trials and suffering firsthand!

This is so beautifully described in 2 Corinthians 1:3-6 NIV Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.

Though we don’t enjoy trials and times of suffering, we can choose to allow Christ to move mightily in us and through us during them. A day will come when because of our perseverance, character and hope through first hand experience with both of these, we will be able to offer the compassion and comfort of Christ to those in any trouble.

2 Corinthians 1:3-6 NIV 3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

We choose how we go through trials!

Recently there has been a flood of friends and family facing trials. Some are health concerns, some financial and others in relationship conflicts.  There is no way of going through this life journey without coming up against one if not more of these. Christians are not exempt of difficulties and trials.  Some of us in our early years in faith believed we would be protected by a spiritual bubble that would prevent difficult, hurtful things from knocking at our door.  This belief wasn’t based on anything scriptural but a naive belief that because we chose to serve God He would not allow anything “bad” to happen to us. Early death, sickness, financial hardships and all the other struggles out there would somehow pass us by. If we believed enough, these things would move on down the road and away from our doors.

This naive belief is based on our own lack of knowing God’s word and the words of Jesus to His followers.  God never promised that life would be sunshine and rainbows every day.  He never promised we would not struggle through difficulties.  He never promised we would not lose a loved one long before we thought it was their time to go. In fact Jesus warned us in John 16:33 NIV “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 

I personally have had to deal with some great losses in my life.  When we lost our son Daniel, at age 20 in a car accident I grieved daily for about 3 years before I could really accept he was gone.  Though he came to Christ as a young child and I knew I would see him again, I missed his smile, his crazy humour, his lovely face and his presence in the family! I still have days where I feel such deep grief over the fact that he won’t ever get to have a family, raise children and live out some of his dreams.  I did however, have to get to a place where I trusted that God had his reasons for taking him home. He may never reveal them to me but even that is now okay. He knows so much more than I can ever know about the future.  We can choose to grow bitter and angry and decide that because things didn’t go the way we expected them to go we will no longer walk with the Lord.  There are many people out there walking down that dark road.  Choosing that road will just lead to more discontent and bitterness.

When dark days come most of us will have a time where we pull inside ourselves, wallow in sadness and grief for a time but then comes the time for us to look to God.

Psalm40:1-3 NIV 1 I waited patiently for the Lord;he turned to me and heard my cry.2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,out of the mud and mire;he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.3 He put a new song in my mouth,a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.

I believe in counselling and it did help me a great deal to talk to a counselor while I was working through my grief after the loss of our son, but even the best counselor cannot bring about the heart deep healing that only Jesus can.  As we choose life, choose to move forward and allow God to heal those deep wounds we move out of our deep grief and into a place of acceptance and peace.  Throughout our journey trials will continue to come and with every trial we have the choice of how we will walk through it. We can look to God knowing the truth of Romans 8:28 NIV 28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose,”  or we can remain wallowing in our grief and bitterness.  I choose life!

I choose life!